Metaphysical Flailing
Posted by: Finch in Musings, tags: death, family, friends, futility, health, memory, motivation, timeI keep wanting to say something, but I’m not sure what.
I’ve learned some things in the last couple of weeks. I’ve learned explicitly that the will to live trumps comfort or convenience every day of the week, without exception. I’ve remembered that the only thing that matters in life is communication. And I’ve had it demonstrated to me all too personally that, sometimes, cures kill. Yeah, it’s been a tough couple of weeks.
I’ve also learned that some of my advice is actually pretty good, having had an opportunity to swallow it in context. I still believe that, no matter how a relationship ends, if it doesn’t hurt like hell you were doing it wrong. I believe that beautiful things can’t die; when we mourn, we mourn only the loss of potential, because whatever we experienced before that loss can never be taken from us. And, finally, I believe that when you knew what the right thing to do was, and you didn’t do it, you’ve done the worst thing you could have done, whether you did something or not.
I’ve reaffirmed that my loved ones are precious to me, and learned that when people threaten them seriously I feel absolute eye-popping spit-snarling breath-stealing rage, the kind that generates massive adrenaline surges, heroic surges of strength and coordination, and really bad decisions — undoubtedly it’s from Mom’s side of the family, where the Scots hang out. Probably not the most useful reaction it could evoke, but not one I’m ashamed of, either.
I’ve learned that “Fading Lights” by Genesis holds up better than I thought it would. Don’t just google the lyrics, it’s not the same without the music.
And finally, I’ve reaffirmed that no matter what else, I write.
So where am I going with this? I don’t know, really. 2009 has come in hard and heavy, and it’s warned me that there’s change in the air, but it’s also reassured me that I know who I am and what I believe. Maybe that’s enough to weather the coming storm.
January 14th, 2009 at 1:28 pm - Edit
you certainly do write, I’d have gotten all that out in 2 words or so. well most of it anyway.
But dont blame us Scots for anger.. we’re a peaceful loving nation…. Scuse me while i go decapitate the noisy kids in the street.
January 15th, 2009 at 10:25 am - Edit
I think we just need to look at the past couple of weeks as the last bit of kleenex needed to get over the virus they called 2008 and all that’s happened recently being the last pile of snot to hit the tissue. I know that’s probably the worst metaphor I’ve ever come up with, but I think the rest of 2009 might still have a lot of good stuff in store for us
January 15th, 2009 at 11:26 pm - Edit
Well put, Johannes…Well put.
January 16th, 2009 at 4:51 pm - Edit
Sabara! Nice to see you around these parts, though if you call Jehannos “Johannes” in person he may be very put out with you. Pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable, you’re always welcome around these odd parts.